Sex can be a wonderful thing, and I’d love it if it was that way for anyone who wished to partake. However, sometimes, it can get boring or feel lacking—especially if all you’re doing is going through the motions with your partner. And while porn can be fun and exciting to watch, it isn't always realistic or enjoyable. Luckily, there are other ways of spicing up your sex life if you only think outside the box!
Sex education is a good place to start. If you're interested in learning how sex can be more enjoyable, it can be helpful to look at educational material that's been created by professionals for that specific reason. A common mistake is “learning” from porn, when performers are doing exactly that: perform for a camera.
Sex educators are skilled at communicating with real people who want to work with their bodies to experience new things, they’ll offer more detailed advice for any obstacle you might be having. They also have access to a wide variety of resources, so they're able to provide accurate information on topics like anatomy and STIs.
Sex education programs are available online as well as in person through schools or community organizations. If you feel uncomfortable asking someone else what they do with their genitals—or even just admitting that you don't know--consider checking out some sex ed books or videos instead!
Erotica as a genre can get bad rep because of overly cheesy stereotypes from the past: love interests with long manes of hair carrying away the female protagonist on a white horse while the sun sets... Thankfully, time has brought a lot of diversity and realism to erotica stories. And knowing that porn can feel aggressive and impersonal for viewers, erotica has filled that gap of readers wanting characters who enjoy their actions, have agency, and explore their sexualities without shame. Books and stories can be a great source of inspiration for your own life, they’re descriptive enough to easily picture brand new situations and consider if they would be up your alley in real life.
You can even try writing your own as an exercise, it can be an especially useful tool if you're looking for ways to explore sex fantasies that don't rely on stereotypes or assumptions— you’ll be able to solidify your wants in your own words.
These are some great platforms if you want to dip your toes in erotica!
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If you’re not a big fan of visual media for any reason, explicit audio content can be a wonderful alternative! There are a lot of folks out there who script, record, and edit sound effects to create truly immersive experiences you can enjoy. The only requirement? A pair of headphones and you’re set!
A couple of places where you can explore thanks to their great tagging systems are:
If you're looking for a way to spice things up, but don't want to focus only on the explicit scenes, games may be the answer. You can play them on your own or with someone else—and either way you'll have a lot of fun!
The best part about playing interactive erotic games is that there are a lot many options out there for different kinds of players. If you like romance and story lines, there are plenty of titles that will give you plenty of plot-rich interactions with other characters (and often multiple partners). Or if all-out porn isn't really your thing, there are also lots of games that offer more subtle sexual content in the form of innuendo or suggestive dialogue.
Time and time again, porn has been shown to be a poor substitute for actual sex. But as we’ve seen here, there are plenty of other ways to get your spicy content fix. So don’t be afraid to explore, ask for recs, and find the type of media you like best!
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